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In a prior post I wrote about the deceitful group that was tricking me into running up hills for long distances. The status of that is that I continue to fall for their trickery and deceit every Saturday morning (which doesn't bode well for me). I guess you could call them trickster friends. But, this post is not about them. Rather, this post is about another personality type I call the bully friend. A bully friend is someone who bullies you into doing things you would not normally do, and makes you grow as a result. For example, a bully friend of mine somehow bullied me into running my first running race last weekend- the US Half marathon in San Francisco.
Warning: This post will meander a bit between a work post and a personal post.
My college freshman roommate, Julie Ask, registered me for the US Half marathon for my birthday. (Hint for identifying bullies: Is that really a birthday gift?!?) She's always been a bully that way, roping me into all sorts of things, so it's hard to tell if she's really a friend. Yet, we've remained "friends" for 21 years. Fortunately, she got me ready for the race. She sent me to the running store to get properly fitted for shoes, and I learned that my shoes were two sizes too small- ouch! She bought me some Gu to keep me energized throughout the race. She bought me some Glide to protect my skin. She got me some hair bands to tie up my hair. She bought me a race belt to hold my number. And, she had a carbo-loading pasta party the evening before the race so that I would eat properly and at the right time. Basically, she exhausted any excuse I could think of to get out of the half marathon. I guess that's what bully friends are for.
Julie wisely said that our goal was not to finish, but to finish healthy. Like the deceitful Saturday morning trail runners, I think she's trying to trick me into running another race some day. So, she set us a modest goal of finishing in 2:15-2:30. We ran with Julie's brother and another friend, and the four of us decided to stay together for the race.
 On race day, she picked me up in a cab from my sister's apartment in SF. We got to the starting line early and stretched out. We had our first Gu 15 minutes before the race started. At 7:00, bang, we were off. Out of the gate, lots of people ran past us. Julie wisely said that our strategy was to let people pass us at the beginning, but then to pass them at the end. So, we were patient and kept a comfortable pace.
The sun was shining when the race started. The view of the Golden Gate bridge, Alcatraz, and all of SF was beautiful in the morning sunlight and throughout the race. We started at Aquatic park and had the excitement of the race crowd. We ran across Chrissy field and had a beautiful view of Alcatraz and the Bay. We did a couple loopty loops in Golden Gate park. We ran across the Golden Gate bridge and had beautiful views all around. On the far end of the bridge, we ran down to the ocean and climbed back up the hill to get to the other side of the bridge. We ran back over the Golden Gate bridge and saw boats and their wakes in the water below. Thanks to Julie's experience of knowing where the camera men would be, we struck a hang-loose group pose for the camera man as we passed him on the bridge. We ran back along Chrissy field where Julie's brother's wife met us at mile 10 and handed us the most delicious Twizzlers you ever tasted! Then, we went over the baby hill at Fort Mason and crossed the finish line in Aquatic park. We finished comfortably at 2:19 according to plan. Since this is my first race, I was told I get to call this a personal record.
 We walked every water station and we Gu'ed every 45 minutes, i.e., we did whatever Julie told us to. For some reason I kept floating forward and thank goodness Julie kept reeling me back. As a result, we were all pretty comfortable for all 13.1 miles. I usually get sore around mile 9. But, thanks to Julie's pacing, the trail running, and my new shoes, I was pretty comfortable until the last baby hill at Fort Mason. Julie's strategy worked… people passed us at the start but we mostly passed others in the 2nd half of the race. Our loved ones met us at the finish line. We achieved Julie's goal of finishing healthy.
Let me show off about my bully friend a bit more. By day, Julie is a vice president and research director at JupiterResearch. She is their analyst in charge of wireless and mobility and she has a great blog. In addition, she is a Toyota sponsored endurance athlete as part of their viral marketing campaign to push Toyota hybrids, think renewable energy -- environmental-friendly cars -- endurance athletes. She does all sorts of crazy events, like triathalons, half marathons, soccer, ice hockey, and swimming (I'm getting tired typing them!). When she does her races, she wears her Toyota sportswear to represent the brand and she posts a little story about the race. Her bullying certainly pre-dates the Toyota sponsorship, but as you can tell she's a great representative for them. I'm just lucky to have her as a bully friend.
So, why did I write this story on my work blog? Because it shows another example of how teamwork can be used to help individuals stretch and grow to achieve things that they never thought they could. Julie had a plan and I grew as a result. She pushed me hard enough to take me beyond where I would have gone on my own, but she pushed gently enough to make sure I finished healthy so that I'd do it again. Julie achieved her goal of delivering me back to my loved ones in a healthy state. I achieved her goal of completing my first half marathon with a healthy finish. At the end of the race, she gave me permission to run faster next time (actually, she said she would give me a longer leash).
Are you lucky enough to have a bully friend?
Are you a bully friend to someone else?
Have you used the bully method to help someone grow at work? (I also call it the tough love method.)
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| Posted by Susie Wee on Saturday, November 10, 2007 11:38 PM |
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